Psalm 119:32
I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! Psalm 119:32
Okay, I am struggling with this one. Not because I disagree. On the contrary, I could deflect by writing about the race horse Secretariat that had an enlarged heart and ran really fast. But I feel something deeper needing to be dealt with.
I could write about five steps to enlarging your heart, which would be another way of staying on the surface of the issue.
The tug I feel is to write about “What if God has enlarged my heart, am I really committed to running in the way of His commandments?” This convicts me at a deeper depth of my heart.
Here are confessions of my own heart. In my young adult life, I was “heartless.” Early in my life I was foolish enough to buy into logically thinking my way out of problems. I convinced my immature self that I just needed to work harder, smarter, longer and that would be enough to cover all my other short-coming. Wrong!
From heartless, I moved to “half-hearted.”
Everyone utters lies to his neighbor; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. — Psalm 12:2 ESV
From there I moved from half-hearted to “hard-hearted” and we all know what Hebrews 3:15 (along with other verses) has to say about that…
As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”
— Hebrews 3:15 ESV
Then God found me, “dead in my trespasses and sin” and gave me new life in Him. From there, I had a “divided heart.” My flesh wanted what it wanted while the Spirit in me was being fed the Word of God. This was a continual process for me over decades. While I wanted one true alliance with God, I struggled with dual alliances due to my unrepentant flesh.
While I continued to repent and be sanctified, I wanted to worship God with a “whole heart,” but I would still fall short.
Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. — Psalm 86:11 ESV
And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, — Ezekiel 11:19 ESV
So now I am dealing with the fact that God has done much in life (not everything but a lot). He has given me a new heart; a heart of flesh. He has aligned me with Himself and continues to rightly align me with Him. But this verse still goes a step further.
I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! — Psalm 119:32 ESV
God now says “run.” Do you know how scary that is? I could break a hip. But God is faithful…
If He is calling me to run after He has been faithful to replace my heart of stone, why do I hesitate? Why is my tendency to dig in my heels instead? Because it is challenging to think about “running” at my age. And I want to be self-reliant. I want to control my destination and my path and my way. I want what I want when I want it and how I want it. Can you see how my sin problem still clings to my flesh?
Come Lord Jesus!
So, there is such richness and truth to be found in this short verse found in the longest chapter in the middle of the Bible. God keeps pursuing me. He does not give up. That is His character. Wherever you find yourself; “heartless, half-hearted, hard-hearted, or with a divided heart & divided allegiance” God is faithful to complete the work in you that He has started.
In session application questions:
What are the ways you want to be in charge and control how things are done in your life?
In what ways to you feel God tugging on you to run? Run from past sin? Run to Jesus?
Where does hesitation on your part keep you stuck in past patterns of following your sinful flesh and not following the conviction that the Spirit may be prompting.
Outside session homework:
Consider journaling ways that you have been or still are “heartless, half-hearted, hard-hearted, or have a divided heart & divided allegiance.”
Pray through ways that God may be encouraging you to “run” as He is faithful to “enlarge” your heart?
Burke Care would love to encourage you today to consider “running” with Him as He sees fit. You will not regret it. We would welcome the opportunity to hear more of your story and what God has been doing in your life. Call or email us to connect.
Father, thank You for not leaving us where we are. You desire to grow and mature us, redeem and sanctify us. Keep our eyes on You and not on worldly distractions. Keep us ultimately dependent on You for our good and Your glory. Amen
