Psalm 119:6

Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. — Psalm 119:6

I love to be reminded that I not longer have to deal with shame; that it has been dealt with on my behalf by the one who despised the shame and endured the cross. Walking in shame is isolating, hard, dark, drudgery. But God is the God of Redemption. In all the unsuccessful attempts to outperform shame, God showed me that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Shame is not mine to carry. Jesus took shame to the cross.

I have a tendency to want to say “my shame”, but it is not mine. To say “my shame” is to believe a lie. Guilt says I did something wrong but shame says I am something wrong; that God made a mistake. And that is just not true. God provided a covering for the shame I experienced. It took a long time to accept that covering and to learn to walk in his covering. But God is faithful…

I no longer live with shame like I used to. There are still days that I hear voices trying to get me to fall down that slippery slot of shame. There are times when my heart is embattled and I feel the compulsion to go to self-pity as a warm blanket. But that is when I remember the gospel. That is when I interrupt the false narrative going on in my head with “all your commands”, with the truth of the Gospel.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. — Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV