When Job’s Friends Did Well
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
When you think about friendship, what comes to mind? A coffee date, a stroll on the beach, deep talks late into the night, a fishing trip, a faithful helper in times of trouble. But what about Job’s friends? Job had experienced so much loss – property, possessions, posterity, and even his own physical health. And here come those miserable comforters! But when I think of the three verses in Job 2:11-13, it stops me in my tracks, making me believe that to some extent these friends have received a bad rap. Moved by the Holy Spirit, the author of Job was inspired to write this brief portion, to highlight when Job’s friends did well. We could have been given only the negative example of “miserable comforters,” but the Lord gives us three verses to show that they started well.
They heard about Job’s great suffering. We don’t know how they heard, but in the hearing of the news, each of them was compelled to leave the comforts of their own homes, to venture out to meet the needs of Job (Job 2:11a). Love for Job motivated them to take action to help their friend. They did well.
It appears that they first met together, the three of them, to collaborate on how to sympathize with Job and comfort him (Job 2:11b). They did not rely on their own understanding in the matter (Prov. 3:5). Rather, they came together in the face of great suffering to formulate a plan on how to sympathize with and comfort Job. When there is great suffering, it often takes a village[1]. A team approach to ministry is vital in face of deep suffering. Job’s friends did well.
“When they looked from a distance, they could barely recognize him, they wept aloud...” Job’s friends did not minimize his suffering, but rather they saw him disfigured, and they wept. They didn’t just shed a few sympathetic tears. The Scripture says that they “wept aloud” (Job 2:12a). This was more like a wail on Job’s behalf. Godly comforters do not minimize suffering, offering platitudes with misty eyes, but they weep with those who weep. Job’s friends did well.
Not only did they weep, but “each man tore his robe, and threw dust into the air and on his head” (Job 2:12b). From our viewpoint, the wailing may seem a little excessive. But these grief-stricken gestures? They all together allude us. What do they mean? Job’s friends identified with his suffering, by stripping and abasing themselves with their friend who was stripped and abased.[2] Job’s friends did well.
We would think that at this point, they pulled themselves together and began their lengthy speeches. But it says that they “sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights,” silent (Job 2:13). No one spoke a word to Job for one whole week. They sat with him; they grieved with him. They wept with him. Why? It says, “...because they saw that his suffering was very intense.” Who does this? Really! I’ve never heard of one person who just sat with a friend for a whole week, weeping and grieving with them in their loss. But Job’s three friends did just that. Amazing! They did well.
Job’s friends came, not to satisfy their curiosity with an account of his troubles and the strangeness of the circumstances...but to mourn with him, to mingle their tears with his, and so to comfort him.[3]
Job’s friends did well, as recorded in Job 2. Yet, these verses stand in stark contrast to the rest of Job. We know the story. After a week, Job’s friends speak, attributing sin to Job’s suffering. They also ascribed to the Lord a strict “retribution principle,”[4] where God’s works are understood as always rewarding obedience and punishing disobedience. They could not fathom a situation where someone would suffer this much and not be guilty of sin. Yet, God had declared Job to be a blameless man. This is instructive for us as well. It is tempting for us to want to attribute sin to a suffering person, wondering about the idols in their life, when they are faced with deep pain and suffering. But this is not appropriate. The fall resulted in a sin-cursed world, where suffering is an ever-present reality in our lives. It comes to us in all forms. It flies out of left-field. It knocks the socks off of us, as we have been peacefully living our lives. Could suffering be the result of sin? Sure, God disciplines those He loves. However, we are not God, and we cannot possibly know all the reasons for someone’s suffering. We don’t know the heart; only God does. We don’t understand the deep mysteries of God’s works. All we see and know is that the person in front of us is desperate, and they need a friend like Job’s friends...when they did well. Weeping, sitting quietly, listening, being a ministry of presence in the face of deep sorrow.
Jesus is ultimately that friend who sticks closer than a brother. He weeps; He sympathizes more than any human could possibly sympathize. He is the friend who never leaves, never forsakes. A week is a long time to be present for an earthly friend. But Jesus is eternally with us. He loves at all times and is truly the One who sticks closer than a brother. He has given His Spirit, the “paraclete,” our eternal Comforter and Helper. Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the Triune God is our “ever-present Help in trouble” (Ps. 46:1). Earthly friends will fail us, but our God will never fail us. And as we seek to be wise comforters to others in this broken world, let us remember Job’s friends who did well at first. Let us model the love of God to others, representing the Lord’s comforting presence to His people. And let us be careful when we do speak not to add wounds to an already wounded heart. Our words should be filled with balm and not with blows. Lord, help us to be just a little bit like Job’s friends…when they did well!
If you are struggling in your suffering to find a friend, someone to walk with you in your dark hour, please reach out to Burke Care. While we can’t sit with you for a week, we would love the opportunity to be a comfort to you in your affliction for as long as the Lord allows.